The Daily Mash email archive

Five levels of denial of the adult male still in a band

Nov 2, 2026 9:24 AM

How to be outraged about the Oxford Street pedestrianisation even if you live in Wigan

Oct 30, 2026 10:12 AM

Finger sucking, and other unpleasant experiences men think are turning you on

Oct 29, 2026 10:07 AM

Londoner could maybe have affair in six months

Oct 28, 2026 10:15 AM

How to pull a female police officer at 2am, by a pissed chancer

Oct 27, 2026 10:19 AM

Getting pegged, and other perils of sex with a younger woman

Oct 26, 2026 10:08 AM

Next successful BBC spin-off to be Celebrity Strictly

Oct 23, 2026 9:08 AM

Five sex positions that will help you find your missing earbud

Oct 22, 2026 9:11 AM

No-one has ever talked about fanny hammers until me, now. By Lily Allen

Oct 21, 2026 9:06 AM

You're not brave enough to confront us, laugh train twats playing TikToks

Oct 20, 2026 9:22 AM

Woman laments 'weird' crush on successful attractive wealthy comedian James Acaster

Oct 19, 2026 9:18 AM

Men disappointed not all mathematicians are hot

Oct 16, 2026 9:07 AM

How to arouse a man with a blatantly made-up story of your sexual past

Oct 15, 2026 9:10 AM

I'm 45 with £900,000 in my pension. Should I retire early or did I just want you to know that?

Oct 14, 2026 9:06 AM

Man unable to answer Only Connect questions because Victoria Coren is on screen

Oct 13, 2026 9:09 AM

Stunned team staggers out of two-hour meeting with no clue what happened in there

Oct 12, 2026 9:09 AM

Concept of evil Hannah Fry pushes middle-aged men over the edge

Oct 9, 2026 9:08 AM

Thanks for Subscribing to The Daily Mash Headlines

Oct 9, 2026 4:26 AM

How to make the difficult choice between the Tories, Reform and Restore: A guide for bastards

Oct 8, 2026 9:15 AM

What your boyfriend is thinking while Sense and Sensibility is on

Oct 7, 2026 9:21 AM

Perfecting nuclear fusion, and other ways to pull Hannah Fry

Oct 6, 2026 9:10 AM

How to get Olivia Colman's middle-aged pissed-off done-with-this-f**king-catwalk look

Oct 5, 2026 9:14 AM

Thanks for f**king up our only good show, BBC tells Richard E Grant

Oct 2, 2026 9:07 AM

Seven surprising benefits of rejoining the EU for Brexiters

Oct 1, 2026 9:11 AM

'F**k it, the old bastards all vote Reform anyway'

Sep 30, 2026 9:06 AM

Those are the bad guys, say Americans with no knowledge of British farce

Sep 29, 2026 9:13 AM

Six children's names that mean you are truly working class

Sep 28, 2026 9:15 AM

Man nostalgic for softcore porn

Sep 25, 2026 9:09 AM

Five jobs hot people shouldn't be allowed to do

Sep 24, 2026 9:09 AM

Six fun workplace grudges to carry you through the week

Sep 23, 2026 9:06 AM

18 innuendos Nigella will use on tonight's Bake Off alone

Sep 22, 2026 9:15 AM

Six people who annoy all the right people but are still dicks

Sep 21, 2026 9:18 AM

I was getting blown when I heard the news, says King

Sep 18, 2026 9:08 AM

Seven legitimately insane thoughts you have when taking a day off sick

Sep 17, 2026 9:11 AM

Sussexes' children leave school after Meghan gate catfight

Sep 16, 2026 9:14 AM

Our self-obsessed gripes about townies, by country folk

Sep 15, 2026 10:36 AM

Goth girlfriend miserable in practice

Sep 14, 2026 9:07 AM

Ever since I was a small child, I have known the evil of the RNLI

Sep 11, 2026 9:13 AM

Six harsh realities of not living with your parents that freshers will soon face

Sep 10, 2026 9:09 AM

What my Christian faith means to me. By a masked boat protestor

Sep 9, 2026 9:10 AM

Eton gets me away from the constant screaming rows, says George

Sep 8, 2026 9:17 AM

Maldives were disappointment after three weeks in Tonga, electrician casually mentions

Sep 7, 2026 9:12 AM

Argentina warned it will be disappointed by Falklands

Sep 4, 2026 9:10 AM

Posh Scottish people officially hilarious

Sep 3, 2026 9:26 AM

Why predictions Brexit would damage the UK's economy were wrong even though they've happened

Sep 2, 2026 9:14 AM

Woman spends more than intended after visiting sex shop horny

Sep 1, 2026 2:03 PM

Words for knickers, ranked from unsexy to knob-shrivelling

Sep 1, 2026 9:13 AM

I loved cuddling all night, says man who ejaculated into sink at 3am

Aug 28, 2026 10:41 AM